Almost a month ago, I sent my Guitar Hero III disc away for replacement. Today, I got a package from Activision delivered to my door, with the following note:

"Dear Valued Customer.... You recently received a Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock Wii replacement disc... To show our appreciation for your patience... enclosed is a complementary Guitar Hero faceplate..."

You will note, of course, that I have not, in fact, received said disc.

I have already had four packages sent across the border to my home lost somewhere en route by one or both of North America's very poor postal systems. I really hope this isn't the fifth.

Mad Libs + Friends + Filthy Minds = Old School Hilarity

Much research has been made in deep dark labratories on finding the most sure-fire way of hitting a target. Heat-seeking thingamajigs. Laser-guided whatchamacallits. Psycho-clairvoyant doohickeys. Really, what they should be studying, is kids on bikes. Put a kid in a helmet on a bike, put him in an open area, and he will invariably strike - using an unpredictable and inefficient, yet consistently successful route - the girl on roller skates making every effort to stay out of his way.

It's one of those laws of nature that somehow avoided the notice of minds like Tesla and Hawking, but are nonetheless constant.

MVP. Sportsman. 12-time All-Pro. 6-time All-Star. 6-time Champion.

All-time Captain.

Jim Veltman played his last game in the NLL today. Though the season was disappointing to the Rock, and the final game ended with a comeback that fell just short, the result will likely be forgotten. The game will be remembered as Veltman's night. The man who led the Rock through a dynasty was given a grand goodbye, as fans applauded their captain and chanted his name. Who knows what the team will be like now he's gone, and his feats will likely never be repeated. I feel priveleged to have been able to see him play.

Thank you, Jim.