A classic meme from Sextuple-L, RoJo, et al.
1. Grab the nearest book, turn to page 18, line 4. Write down what it says.
"à esquerda - to the left - on the left" - from Teach Yourself Portuguese by Manuela Cook.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
The mutant rapid-turnover plant.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Leafs vs Sens, game 4. No, not Darcy! Not Joe!! Not Mats, too!! NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
5. Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The hum of fluroescent lights, office-tower climate-control fans, several people typing, and the distant chatter of financial experts and frustrated help-centre receptionists.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This morning, walking to the train en route to work.
8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
The company's student website on which I should be working right now.
9. What are you wearing?
Blue button-up shirt, and khakis. Call me and treat me to dinner if you want to find out what's under that.
10. Did you dream last night?
Yes. Some tourists had a giant malfunctioning capuccino maker in their trunk, and were trying to fix it. It was squealing and steaming, and I was quite sure it was going to explode, so I took cover behind a rock. Someone I used to know in high school was sheltering himself there as well, and started to speak to me in secret-agent-like cryptic statements, like "I talked to Carla. Yeah, 4799.9".
11. When did you last laugh?
I always get the last laugh. I am either vengeful or think slowly.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
The wall behind me has a big chart of all the portions of our project that need to be implemented, with little sticky notes on them indicating who is responsibile for each. My name is on a lot of little notes.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
The guy sitting in front of me is kind of odd.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's a quality waste of my time.
15. What is the last film you saw?
In theatre, Starsky and Hutch. Ho hum.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A big house/condo downtown and some beer-commercial women to fill it. If that read muti-billionaire, I would buy the Toronto Maple Leafs so we could finally kick out the Teacher's Pension Plan, cleanse the organisation of the curse of Harold Ballard, and make it a club intent on winning many Cups instead of winning many dollars.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I don't take praise well, partly because I don't want the ego, and partly because it makes me feel like a target; there's too much attention on me. Being bullied as a kid does stick with you.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Change the driving force of human existence from personal gain to the betterment of humanity. I think it's a good approach because it would effectively solve the world's problems and I would have to do the minimum amount of work.
19. Do you like to dance?
My desire to dance (D) is directly proportional to the amount of beer in my system (B) and the attractiveness of the girl with me (A). Of course, A increases as B increases, so it can get kind of fuzzy from there (which is also caused by the increase of B).
20. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
I think that's pretty obvious.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Why you little...!
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Not permanently, unless it was to retire to that pretty spot in Fiji to live out the rest of my days among the beer-commercial women, enjoying the sunshine, dancing, and watching videos of the Leafs many Cup victories.