February 2002

Cup of Soup

Tues, Feb 5, 2002

What day is it? I've spent night and day making a puppet for my graphics course; it's a knight in shining armour, and you can move its arms, legs, and head around. Very cool, and fun to play, but so much work. I could use a really big sammich right now. Preferably pastrami.

I'd go back to New York just for another sandwhich, but I'd be afraid I'd run into the guys we met on the bus there. These two guys from Brooklyn spent seven hours from Utica to NYC discussing old times, how often they went to jail and which ones, who was currently in jail, who got shot, that time they were robbed and were knocked out for three days, that time they set up a guy to get shot in a phone booth and missed, and their childhood friend who was killed by another friend but they couldn't remember his name. All the while they used very colourful words starting with "f" and "n", and used expressions like "Pop, pop, pop goes the weasel!", "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah", and "Yeah, yeah, word, yeah, word up, yeah, gnomesayin'?"

Who'd have thought that getting a sandwhich could be so dangerous?

I am now in sole posession of the best goals-against average in our ball hockey league. I rule!

When I walk to and from campus, I pass by a salon with the following advertisement at the curb: "European 1HR Facials - $40"

I just don't know which wisecrack to use; I'm overwhelmed.

Wed, Feb 6, 2002

Two more days until the Olympic Winter Games.

I love the Olympics, and I know that two weeks of school work are going to go down the drain because of it. At least the Games aren't too far off of my time zone this year, so I won't have to wake up at 3:00 in the morning to catch any events.

At the Summer Games, the big event is the Men's 100m Dash, and the equivalent Winter Games big show is Men's Hockey. Naturally, there's a lot of pressure on our National team to taste gold, especially since Canada - this absolute powerhouse of hockey - has not won Olympic gold in 50 years. In the past three Games we've come up with two silvers and two losses in shootouts. One of the burning images of the Nagano games was seeing Gretzky sitting alone on the bench after the one-goal shootout loss to the Czech Republic; an aging veteran star on the brink of tears, knowing his one chance at Olympic gold has slipped away. The players on the team may be NHL pros, but for two weeks they'll have the hearts of regular Canadian boys; a group of guys from big-city Ontario, small-town Saskatchewan, and snowy-village Quebec playing for their love of the game and the pride of a nation. That's why I watch these Games, and that's what I enjoy most about them.

For these athletes, when the whole world is against them, and the greatest of obstacles are lying before them, there is an entire nation standing behind them.

Thurs, Feb 7, 2002

It is very disturbing to wake up in the morning to the powerful stench of skunk.

Glory particle five: 14 - 2 win

After over four and half consecutive periods of shutout hockey, they finally found a way through me, but we held them off enough to drop the GAA a little further.

Fri, Feb 8, 2002

Welcome to the world of contact lenses.

Wed, Feb 13, 2002

There has always been debate over what sort of events should be in the Olympics, and what shouldn't. The question always comes down to this: "Is this event a 'sport'?"

My definition of sport comes down to one major factor: subjectivity. If the rules of the game are clearly defined, and in some way measurable and/or verifiable - along with requiring physical fitness - then it is a sport. If the outcome of an event is dependant upon a subjective opinion, then it becomes art, not sport.

As we clearly discovered Monday night, figure skating is most definitely an art. If it was a sport, then Canadian pair David Pelletier and Jamie Sale would have won the gold medal for giving the most stunning figure skating performance I have ever seen. But, the judges thought otherwise, and now two skaters who earned their weight in gold are leaving stunned and disillusioned.

Figure skating's competitions should not be held in a sporting venue, with on-the-spot judging and medals awarded. It's contestants should be judged by an acedemy of snooty critics, critiqued, voted upon, and trophies awarded at an outrageously expensive Oscar-like gala banquet. The judges can select whoever they liked the most, and winners will accept their awards graciously, complete with tears of surprise and cheesey speeches thanking the academy, their families, and the Lord Almighty.

Please, don't fool the poor skaters by making them believe they are athletes in a fair competition, when in reality they are extremelely fit and talented dancers on ice. Their discipline is akin to film-making, where their performances are for entertainment value alone, and the governing body decides to distribute pointless awards on a yearly basis as a way of making the judges feel wise and important, and add discussion and debate over the many facets of figure-skating entertainment.

This is the way the judges are already treating the event, so they may as well go the rest of the way - don their tuxes and evening gowns, sip from their champagne, and scratch their friends' backs for as long they intend to scratch in return.

Thurs, Feb 14, 2002

Glory particle six: 18 - 2 win.

I lost my shutout with only 6 minutes left, but we complete the perfect regular season, with a flawless 6-0 record! Our team finishes atop the standings with 12 points and a goal difference of 68, and I finish atop all goaltenders with a goals-against average of 2.33.

On to the playoffs!

Catriona LeMay Doan has captured Canada's first gold medal of these Olympic Games, and she becomes the first Canadian ever to defend an Olympic title in the same event. Hooray Catriona!

Wed, Feb 20, 2002

I have a new story for everyone. It's an autobiography of A Slacker's Life. It's even been published!

Congratulations to Christina Smith, pilot of one of the first ever Olympic women's bobsleigh teams! Congratulations for doing it right. She didn't get a medal - her run wasn't even all that good - but she knows what the Olympics are about. She's enjoyed every second of the experience, soaked it in as much as she could, and has come up with a joy and satisfaction that can only be described as Olympic.

Fri, Feb 22, 2002

11 times short-handed, twice by two players. The officiating was atrocious.

Yet, the Canadian women pulled through, defeating their American arch-rivals and claiming Canada's first hockey gold in 50 years. Hopefully, the men can complement that to put Canada solely on top of hockey's throne once again.

"The Americans had our flag on the floor of their dressing room and now I want to know if they want us to sign it!" - Haley Wickenheiser.

Sat, Feb 23, 2002

Why don't we have mascots as cool as Fatso The Fat-Arsed Wombat?

It's an historic day in Canadian Olympic history.

  • Clara Hughes became only the fourth Olympian to win medals in both Summer and Winter Games.
  • Marc Gagnon and Jonathon Guilmette became only the third pair of Canadians to win gold and silver in the same event.
  • Marc Gagnon became the most decorated Winter Olympian in Canadian history with five medals.
  • Today was the first time Canada won four medals in one day in the Winter Games.
  • Canada has surpassed their best total medal count with 16 so far, plus a 17th tomorrow, putting them in 4th spot in the medals race.

Tomorrow, Olympic history could be made again, as a 50-year drought in men's hockey is placed on the chopping block. This game will be a moment in Canadian cultural history; many are making references to the great teams that succeeded in 1952, 1972, and 1987, and an entire nation of hockey-loving Canucks are hoping 2002 will be another year to revere.

Sun, Feb 24, 2002

So where were you on February 24, 2002?

That's a question Canadians will ask each other in years to come, just like how people ask "Where were you in 1972?" Today is a tremendous day of celebration for our country as both our men's and women's teams captured Olympic Hockey Gold.

Hockey is not just a sport in Canada; it's a culture. We hold it closely to our hearts and expect nothing but the best. Today, our best representatives put the nation's pride on the line, hoping to claim hockey's Olympic crown for the first time in 50 long years.

Those guys certainly did us proud. The game was a classic, one of the greatest of all time, and our boys rose to the occasion. They played with skill; they played with intelligence; they played with the passion that brews in the heart of every Canadian child in this country that grew up in awe of the hockey greats of past and present. They played to win, and they brought home the gold.

Now we celebrate. The streets are filled with cheering fans, honking horns, and waving flags. All across the country, Canadians gather to soak up the glory.

Once again, Canada takes its place as hockey's world power.

Thurs, Feb 28, 2002

Glory particle 7: 4 - 3 exhibition win.

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